Good morning, survivors!
Welcome to Apocalypse 101: Monday Morning Madness, the premier course for those who want to survive the impending doom that is the end of the world. Today's lesson: Monday Morning Madness.
As a prophet of the apocalypse, I've seen it all. The zombies, the nuclear winter, the rise of the machines. But most importantly, I've seen the coffee shop lines get longer than a queue for a Justin Bieber concert. Today, we're going to cover the most crucial topic of all: how to survive the Monday morning rush.
So grab a seat, grab a pen, and get ready to learn how to: